Cook's Goldblume Light Beer
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Rufus: I like the looks of this beer already...
Frank: Cook's Light...Hmmm. How did I get talked into this one?
Kevin: I just happened to have a few of these pushed off on me by some friends
of mine and I thought Rufus would like to try this one.
Rufus: (SFX of 12 oz aluminum can opening)
Frank: I'm gonna put this in the fridge for now. I don't have the nerve to try it.
Kevin: Aawww, C'mon man it's American made light beer what's not to like.(rolls eyes)
Rufus: (SFX of 12 oz aluminum can opening)
Frank: I think it's best served *ice cold*?
Rufus: (SFX of 12 oz aluminum can opening) [Belch.]
Kevin: Let's see just your basic light beer flavor. Not bad, but far from good. It
reminds me of something My Pop would order in the little neighborhood
hole in the wall he frequents.
Frank: Alright here goes nothing...Hmm. Not as bad as I thought it would be. Kinda flat.
Kevin: Yeah, the can says it's union made. Apparently the union is against
carbonation.
Rufus: (SFX of urinating in bathroom)
Frank: It's...It's, uh, rather, uh bland.
Rufus: (SFX of 12 oz aluminum can opening)
Kevin: The can also says "enjoy real beer flavor". I think that says it all. It's almost
like some kind of liquid that a beer-like flavor was added to. Weird!
Frank: I think it's the most boring tasting beer I've ever tried. Water has more character.
Kevin: I was introduced to this stuff in the back of a van between rock sets when the
venue was being too cheap to provide the booze.
Rufus: (SFX of 12 oz aluminum can opening)
Frank: It's not bad, it's just so goddamn dull. Did they forget to put in the hops?
Kevin: Who can afford hops at $5.69 a case.
Frank: I'm gonna rate it a 2, because it doesn't taste bad, but it doesn't taste good, either.
Kevin: Gotta go with the basic 2. I can hammer down a bunch of these, but the
word's "I'll have a Cook's Light" will most likely never be spoken by me in any
place with the dubious distinction of serving this stuff.
Rufus: (SFX of 12 oz aluminum can opening)
Frank: Cook's Light beer is a lot like having sex in a canoe: It's fucking close to water.
Rufus: (SFX of 12 oz aluminum can opening) (SFX of 12 oz aluminum can opening)
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1 comment:
i highly doubt anyone would read this, given the age of the original post. Cook's: $8 for 12 pretty much sums this bad boy up. We (a group of 12) typically buy a case on the way to the river as a gag beer, however, this is usually the first sacrificial lamb at the camp site. Not sure if it's subconscience, or intentional, but we are determined to finish the case as soon as possible. Cook's Light is a blue font, Cook's 'regular' is red; we always ask 'is it red or blue?' red tastes better warm, blue tastes better COLD. I'm sure that's what they meant by font colors. Tastes like shite either way. Natty Light, Steel Reserve, Milwaukee Beast, etc is a better 'college beer.' my palette has changed since my under-grad, but i find myself chugging this once a year down in the 417
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